What's It All About?

You can see that everyday spirituality does not result in a post every day--or even every week--or month!  So what is it all about?

If we accept that we are spiritual beings in a physical body (I realize that's a big "if" for a lot of people), then connecting to our spirituality is pretty important if we want to live the most happiest, most fulfilling and contented life.

The posts in this blog have illustrated times when I've felt spiritual or connected to that deep place inside of me.  Or they address topics about how we can be our best selves.

But the thing that's most difficult is how we make these connected times more and more part of our everyday lives.  So that's what I'm going to write about for awhile.

It's all about being conscious, about waking up to what is really going on in our lives and within ourselves.  Once you wake up, there's no going back.  And don't think you don't know that on a deeply intuitive level. In fact, many people run the other way by being so busy, altering their consciousness through drugs or alcohol, or living their lives in the past (regret) or the future (worry) that there is no room to be conscious about their lives today.  Right NOW.  No way they want to go there.

When we do go there, the payoff is BIG. No, it's way more than that.  But it does take courage and being honest with ourselves.  Opting to look in the mirror and see ourselves, warts and all, can be the decision of a lifetime.  No masks.  Nothing to take away the pain.  Just YOU.  It changes the way you see yourself, the world around you, other people.  Accepting yourself for who you are makes living in this sometimes crazy, mixed-up world a whole lot better.  Nothing is beyond your reach, not even happiness.

My Present

The beach is strewn
With a thousand
Shells, rocks, sticks, fossils.
Each has a story to tell
Of how it came to be
Here.

Every day something new
Speaks to me.
Though seemingly random,
There is a timeless march
Of water, sea and sand.

A gull swoops down for breakfast.
Waves slosh against rocks and shore.
Pulling back to leave their
Cross hatch vestiges
Which perplex me.

It is here
Day after day
Time immemorial
My present.

Run!

This morning my body said "run!"
I've been a relative deadbeat,
Laziness and a cold my excuses.
Down in the relative warmth
Of a different clime,
My body naturally responds
After a long, dreary winter.
Open up!  Let me out!
Like an untethered horse
Falling into a comfortable trot,
I can do over a mile
There's life in this mid-aged girl yet!

New Moon

I remember years ago
Upon waking, the thought
Of sitting still,
In a chair,
Listening to my breath,
"Tuning in" to my body
Was as far away
And impossible
As the moon.

A far off destination.
Through intention, practice and purpose
The moon has become my home.
Like its waxing and waning.
Cloudy or clear,
Full or smaller aspects of itself.
I listen to my body,
Everyday a little different
Showing me the way.

In the Moment of Waves

We all know that primordial sound of waves on the shore.  The ebb and flow, the never-ending cycles of time, of life.  A metaphor for the womb, for give and take, for life's struggles.

If you were to travel around the world experiencing waves lapping at different shores, would they sound the same?  Or would each have its own unique rhythm on a calm and sunny day? 

A wave crashing on the shore has many different components.  It furls close to shore, and at its loudest, crescendos onto land, where it quiets and then fizzes bubbles for several seconds before receding.  With every ebb and flow, the sea leaves its white latticework in the shallows, which never fully disappears but reforms with the next wave.  Every now and then there will be just a moment of silence, like the space between an in-breath and out-breath.  No two waves are ever the same.

Hearing the waves is a comfort, the sounds recurring over and over. The water brings an energy with it, an encouragement or perhaps an urgency.  There can be tenderness, with several waves merely lapping; lest I become too complacent the next may crash, sending water over my ankles and up to my knees.  The next minute the water, clear and unspoiled, feels like velvet on my feet.

I've been mystified by the crosshatch design left on the sand by the retreating waves.  I cannot understand why it appears that way all along the beach.  The air has a faintly briny smell which is only perceptible when the wind pauses.

Around the rocks is a grand slithering as smaller rocks and pebbles are pulled back with a mighty drag.  And there's a tucking in around the rocks in the gentler ebbs, where the slithering turns into a soft gurgle.  Hearing all the sounds together is a symphony, one that is made up as it goes along.  Sounds I love always and never tire of.

Infinite Possibilities

I was fortunate to get away for a week to an island with a beautiful beach. 

Amid a smooth stretch of beach
Leading me down the aisle
I espied a love object
Beckoning my gaze.

A fossilized rock of sea creatures
No bigger than a deck of cards
With indentations for my fingers
Like a bowling ball.

It begged me to pick it up
Its meaning was clearly
To focus my attention
And glean its wisdom.

A cross between a fish and turtle
Perforated with circles and holes
Some dimples, others craters
One through which I see the whole world.

Containing vestiges of shells
The homes of sea creatures long gone
When I turn it over
There's a hippopotamus!

Living Well Into the Future (Part 2)

What does it mean to live and age well?  As a follow-up to the last post, which talks primarily about our physical environment, how it impacts us, and what we can do about it, this post talks about how living well is determined by our personal philosophies and preferences, and the choices we make each and every day.

We know that to have a strong mind and body we need to take our health and well-being into our own hands. This means eating healthy, well-prepared food and exercising regularly.  To maintain our social and psychological well-being, we need friends and to be involved in activities and causes.  Some of these are a continuation of what we’ve known and done for years, but we also want to be open to meeting new people and learning about new topics.  From a financial perspective, as our life situations change, we want to make sure we are not living beyond our means, and have put away a little something for the future.

Yet, once we have attended to our most basic needs, the question of aging well may be a very personal one.

Does it mean:

Having good health?
Maintaining relationships with those we love?

Traveling the world and seeing all those places we’ve dreamed of?

Living life by our own rules without any “shoulds?”

Being able to give freely of ourselves and our wisdom?

Enjoying dinners out or the arts regularly?

You may be thinking at this point of the proverbial “bucket list,” but aging well has less to do with what we want to accomplish as we get older, and more about how we want to BE and interact in the world. 

One way to think about this is to imagine what you would like said about you in a eulogy or written on your tombstone.  How would you like to be remembered?  What will be a personal disappointment if you don't accomplish it during this lifetime?  Or, to be even more dramatic, if you had six months to live, how would you like to spend them? What makes you excited to get up in the morning?  These are just some of the questions you may ask yourself as you think about what "living well" means to you.  There's no better time.

Living Well Into the Future (Part I)

Many articles today talk about how we can remain active and healthy into old age.  They cite maintaining social relationships, keeping physically fit and engaging our minds. Many older adults today still work—either part-time or full-time--or volunteer their time to noteworthy institutions and causes.  Diet and nutrition is also important.  And yet, from a physical perspective, as our world has become more crowded with technology, people and information; as our food comes from further away, often in cans and boxes, with labels that are often misleading; as our air and water are often polluted with toxins—how do we keep healthy as we age and what does this mean for each of us?

For many of the baby boomer generation, the government could be relied on to provide a safety net in a variety of ways.  The FDA had vigorous standards to help protect us from harmful medications.  Safety inspections were routinely carried out on our poultry and livestock before it was brought to market.  The EPA made sure we had clean air and water. The SEC was formed to protect investors against ill-contrived schemes and imprudence by individuals as well as banks and large firms. The government still provides a medical and financial safety net through Medicare and social security, but we know these will undergo changes in the coming years. 

Like many other posts in this blog, a big part of living and aging well is being aware, open and conscious and taking responsibility for ourselves.   We often know the best way to ______  (fill in the blank), but we don’t do it.  Do you reach for unhealthy foods to comfort yourself?  Have you had a medical issue you’ve tried to ignore?  Are you under constant stress at work?  Sometimes these situations are out of our control, but much of the time we can make different decisions about our jobs, our time, who we choose to be with, where we live, what we eat and what we choose to believe. 

For example, are you surrounded by people who are negative, complaining, and bring you down?  Being aware of how some people sap our energy while others make us feel joyful and engaged is a first step to determining whether we want these people in our social system.  If we really don’t but have little choice, we might be able to minimize the amount of time we spend with them, or include others whose company we enjoy during the next visit.

Aging well doesn't start at age 65 or 70.  It's part of the lifestyle we've created through our lives, and yet it can be changed at any time.  There are always the "big" issues, from the way our food is processed to the air we breathe.  But we can decide if we live near a coal plant or eat fast food on a regular basis.  Dealing with issues as they arise, taking an active role for our own well-being and educating ourselves about important topics will help us create a life we enjoy living today and "well" into the future.

What Plan?

I was having dinner the other night with a good friend, and as we were talking, the following came out of my mouth:

                 " I don't know the plan even though I want to know the plan, because
                    part of the plan is not knowing the plan."

Yes, I'm one of those people who often likes to KNOW.  I used to be much more that way, but still am to some degree.  Give me information and I feel reassured I'm making a good decision.  Too much suspense can be unnerving.  I've been known to cover my eyes during a scary movie or flip to the back of a novel of gripping suspense.

There are certainly plans worth having.  Creating a new business or trying to achieve a goal requires well thought out projections and action steps.  Having a plan helps bring a vision into reality.  The best plans are those with built-in contingencies and flexibility, because things rarely turn out the way we envision they will.  Have you ever had an idea of "exactly' what you wanted only to be pleasantly surprised when things turned out somewhat differently?

As human beings, it's natural to want to know what's going to happen; it makes us feel more in control.  Some of us have a greater desire for predictability than others and feel less comfortable with change.  In addition, when we're feeling good about our life and ourselves, it's easy to be open and optimistic about what might come our way.  When we're not in a good place, it feels so much harder to believe this is all part of the "plan," and there is something we are meant to learn from each obstacle and (heaven forbid!) failure.

If we look back at our lives, we realize many of the most difficult and challenging situations taught us the most about ourselves and our capabilities, when at the time we felt we were in the midst of a crisis.  In retrospect, we may even be surprised at how well we dealt with the situation.  It's helpful to remember this when we feel life isn't going our way or we're apprehensive about what will happen. After all, having more information doesn't guarantee anything, especially control. 

Accepting what is requires us to trust there is a higher power and that our experiences unfold for our greatest good. 

And if we always knew how things would turn out, we wouldn't be surprised and delighted when all those fun, unexpected things do happen--things we end up thinking and talking about years later.

Can you be open to what's happening at a given moment and accept the outcome, even if it's not what you think you wanted?  Whatever happens, it's all part of the plan.

Seeing with New Eyes

"It's a bear."
"I see a Scottie walking."
"No, it's an angel's wings."

Whether we're gazing at shapeshifting clouds or discussing an important issue, each of us has our own point of view.  It's formed by our experiences, our thoughts, our imagination, what we've read, heard or seen, who we hang out with, and those who raised us and taught us.

Each of us sees the world through our own eyes and has a unique perspective.  Different points of view add to the creative process. When brainstorming, no idea is a bad idea.  Yet, how often in our social discourses, be it in our families, with friends or new acquaintances, do we discount others’ opinions?  This may be because we don’t agree, or believe we share the same values, or perhaps we just feel our point of view is the “right” one.

Opening oneself spiritually includes being open to others’ ideas, even if they seem to differ, sometimes drastically, from our own.  Issues that appear black and white are rarely so clear cut.  Why must we see them so? 

Rejecting what another person says out of hand can be a reaction to our “shadow” side:  we turn away from or reject something that was shameful, embarrassing or hurtful to us in our past.  To embrace it would cause us to relive the feelings we felt at the time.  For us, that particular issue holds a strong emotional charge.  

Next time, when you hear or read an opinion that differs widely from your own, listen to what the person is saying and try to connect to it from their viewpoint.  If we are all "one" on some level, those other thoughts are somewhere in us.  By not rejecting an opposite point of view out of hand and listening with an open heart, we can often come to appreciate some aspect of what we are hearing.