Everyday Spiritual Sabbatical

Deep Inside

2012-02-20T16:56:00.000-05:00

A seed.

A pearl.

A precious truth.
How could I not know?

Life's distractions,
Like baby birds,
Clamoring for attention.
To hear ones voice 'mid all the rest?
Silence, silence.

To cast the line,
Set the intention.
What comes bubbling up
With clarity and resonance
From the depths of my soul.

Where Is The Love?

2012-01-10T21:22:00.000-05:00

“When did I turn into such a bitch?!” my client exclaimed. After a long day at work, she came home and found the house a mess and the kids hadn’t had a bath. She started ranting at her husband, critical and blaming. They went to sleep without talking.

Do you ever find yourself yelling at people you love, knowing that isn’t what you want to be doing but not able to stop yourself? Many of us are sometimes critical, sarcastic or impatient and then feel guilty, either at the time or afterward.

Perhaps our parents acted this way with us, and we are thoughtlessly modeling their behavior. When we are tense and stressed, we might go to this “default position” in our daily interactions with family members. I confess to often parenting this way when my kids were young. Parents are notoriously sleep-deprived, overworked, and frenetic. But we have to take responsibility for our words and actions, which cause harm to those we love.

We’ve all heard the story about the cobbler’s children going barefoot: a father not attending to those right in front of him, dearest to him, and giving better service to others. At least in this example, you can say the cobbler was working to earn a living. What is our excuse? That we love our kids so much that we want them to be “better” somehow? How often is it our agenda that causes us to become angry or impatient? With some self-reflection, we find what’s bothering us really has less to do with our partner or children and more to do with our own needs.

Over time, as I became more conscious and aware, I realized it was inversely hypocritical to treat my friends and clients with more tolerance and acceptance than I sometimes treated my husband and children. I was stuck in a rote way of responding, and it was having a detrimental effect on my relationships and creating tension at home.

The next time you find yourself out of control in a situation with someone you love, stop, take a deep breath, and decide that you don’t want to be hurtful or critical. We really wish to be loving, supportive and nurturing. Ask questions before you begin to judge. Give the other person a chance to explain, and realize that what has already happened is past. We can only affect what happens in the future, and if we have any hope at all of doing so in a positive way, we would best to be loving and compassionate.

Thanks"G"iving

2011-11-21T08:19:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving is a holiday to be with those we love. No presents. No expectations except to be together around a table for a traditional meal with family recipes. It’s also a day to reflect and give thanks for what we have, and whom we have, in our lives.

Gratitude is powerful. It actually has health benefits, and is part of a growing field called positive psychology which has gotten lots of publicity lately. A web search reveals that the practice of keeping a gratitude journal has been shown to increase optimism, improve sleep, protect against heart attacks, and in general, gives us a sense of well-being with fewer physical ailments.

One of my health coach colleagues, Lorraine Miller, has created a gratitude journal called From Gratitude to Bliss: A Journal in Health and Happiness. Lorraine believes strongly in a daily dose of "Vitamin G." In her recent newsletter, Lorraine says:

“I have found this unbelievably simple practice to have profound effects on how we approach life, handle stress, heal our bodies and shift our minds.”

Think about ways to bring more gratitude into your life. A tradition in our home is to go around the table before we start our Thanksgiving dinner and say one thing each of us is grateful for. Gratitude moves the focus from ourselves to others, and sends these good messages out into the world. Gratitude becomes infectious: when we hear someone expressing gratitude, we are more likely to do so ourselves.

You may want to try keeping a small notebook by your bed, and before going to sleep, jotting down three things for which you are grateful. They can be simple, like having a roof over your head and enough to eat, or being grateful for the people in your life. Maybe something good happened at work or something unexpected made you smile. Whatever it is, you will likely be healthier and happier having had your dose of Vitamin "G" for the day.

Relating to Mother (Nature)

2011-11-07T10:47:00.001-05:00

Sedona, AZ

Once up on a time, our ancestors’ survival depended on a close relationship with the natural world. It was often a matter of life and death, not to mention losing an entire harvest of crops or being overcome by a severe storm when out hunting or traveling.

Today, many of us today live in comfortable homes and work in climate-controlled offices high above the ground. We may go an entire day without venturing outside, and in the winter, people often arrive and leave work in the dark. We depend on TV or the internet for news about the weather, and don’t have time or the wherewithal to look up from what’s distracting us to see a beautiful sunset or catch the rainbow after a storm.

Being connected to the natural world helps us connect to our inner world. When I work with clients, it’s one of the ways they begin to get reconnected to their own rhythms—they clue in to the natural rhythms of nature. Walking grounds us. Watching animals teaches us about who we are as human beings. The natural world has it’s own sense of order and understanding. How do the animals know when a storm is coming or danger is near? First and foremost, they are aware—they need to be for their very survival.

When we are out enjoying nature, all of our senses are heightened. We breathe in the fresh fall air, smelling the rich soil; we see the changing fall foliage, feel the breeze and hear the squirrels crunching leaves as they bury their nuts. Our souls respond to the beauty of the natural world. It stirs something deep inside—we feel awed, appreciative, and a sense of peace and calm.

Losing our connection to nature is akin to losing ourselves. Mother Nature supports us in many ways, offering all we need to sustain our physical and spiritual lives. We need to remember she is there and to seek her out—all year round.

Everyday Presence

2011-10-28T07:49:00.075-04:00

For those of you who followed my original blog, Spiritual Sabbatical, I’m creating this new one to talk about bringing consciousness and intention to our lives each and every day. We all have the ability to do this, which has far-ranging physical and psychological benefits, for ourselves and others. Most of us just need to be reminded.

What if once a day we. . .

noticed something of beauty?

stopped to appreciate ourselves for one thing we did?

performed an act of kindness?

found a way to connect with a total stranger?

relied on our intuition?

did nothing for at least 60 seconds but observe what is going on around us?

It begins with being aware, being open. We have to look in order to see, to get our heads out of the Blackberry/iPad/computer/TV, to clear our minds.

When I’ve been working particularly hard at something, I’m all up in my head, and it feels as if my mind is somehow separate from my body. It feels heavy and full. That’s when I know I’m having a mind/body disconnect, and need to bring the energy down, to redistribute it so I can function at my best: go for a walk, stretch, do some quick jumping jacks, have a healthy snack, sit and close my eyes for a few minutes—anything to bring that energy down.

Just try it. Instead of focusing outward when you need to de-stress, go inward: Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and let it out very slowly. Do that two more times.

How do you feel?